Hummus and Pita for me

I am a grazer...

I like chips and dip: salsa. guacamole. queso.

veggie trays. fruit plates. hummus and pita.

peanuts. crackers and spreads.

things on a toothpick.

I like anything bit size or that requires dipping.

I got to thinking about this and how i could fill myself up with this all day long, but that i am never fully satisfied. (you know where this is going don't you.)

With taking the risk of becoming predictable, why do we graze when there is so much more? Why am i just getting by but not digging in? Why don't i enjoy the fullness that is available?

I am slowly learning that there are many things in my life that i really need and want to work on, but when you do something for so long, it becomes a way of life, it becomes part of you, and you start to wonder and realize that you don't really know how to change them.

For me, it is two things that i am specifically talking about: it is a way of thinking. I am stuck right now with not taking a way that someone in my life speaks to me, too personally. I have to realize that they are talking to me the same way they are talking to another and another and it is born out of their insecurities. We are all bruised and battered, but there is no need to make someone lower to make yourself higher. I am trying to learn how not to respond defensively or feel like i have to say something to get my word in. This is really hard for me. The natural response when being attacked is to defend; to protect; and really to move on...or backwards.

Situation numero dos: Spiritually, right now i am just kind of getting by. I am in a slump. It is like i am stuck in a pit with no air and i am suffocating. I just have to crawl out. This is no one's fault but my own. I know what i need to do. I know where the fresh air is.

The truth is, the change has to come from within. To change thinking, YOU have to do it. To change actions, YOU have to do it. Does anyone know what i am talking about?