I pulled this from a friends blog. (Thanks Blaire!) It rocked me, and i thought it might rock you too. She is reading this book that i am about to pick up and dive into. Check this excerpt out from the book "Envy: The Enemy Within" by Bob Sorge.
it's a buzz kill, for sure:
"We resist pinning the label "envy" on the struggles of our soul because of the implications that word carries with it. If we own up to envy, we are giving admittance to some powerfully indicating weaknesses. We are tacitly admitting the following attitudes:
- I am ungrateful for what God has given me. His gifts are not enough for me; I also want what He's given another.
- My heart is motivated at a fundamental level by an element of self-interest, self-preservation and self-promotion. I am not able to fully celebrate my brother's successes because of underlying feelings of competition and ambition in my soul.
- My carnality is impeding the unity of the body of Christ--the unity that is central to the bride's preparation. Hence, part of me is hindering, instead of hastening, Christ's return."
Stop it. Those thoughts go so deep inside of me as I realize that i relate and/or reveal that i have thought those at one time or another...
How do we get past that? How do we take our once envy and turn that into passionate prayers and yearning desire for God to do whatever, whenever and however He pleases? How do we stop being so selfish and self-centered and let God dream His dreams through us?
Crap...that makes me hurt...