Saturday, November 1

Out-patient

i am not the biggest fan of a hospital. who is? Who likes to think about being stuck, poked, prodded, lasered, blood, etc. NOT ME. Well, on Monday morning it is my turn for all of that. Awesome.

Now, I am a pretty healthy person. I have had one out-patient procedure in my whole life that i can remember. In 2002, right after a long, great summer at camp, I got my wisdom teeth out. The only thing i REMOTELY remember about that whole thing is the doctor asking me what my favorite kind of sonic slush was [lemon berry of course] and then throwing up the anesthesia afterwards. We try to eat right, exercise, stay active, and sleep well. SO, when i found out there was something that needed to be fixed in me, i wasn't exactly giddy with glee if you know what i mean.

Nutshell story to get to the point: In February, my OB/GYN told me that i had abnormal cells that we needed to look at and then possibly get rid of. Biopsy= me passing out b/c of discomfort and nervousness. Awesome. Results= must FREEZE out abnormal cells, much like you would freeze off a wart, except up there. July: another check up. nothing better, but gave me a set of shots as a "test" to see if it would help. October: shot not working yet, body hasn't built defense or antibodies yet to fight off. Another biopsy in order. AWESOME. Can't wait. End of October: Doctor wants to be aggressive [good.] and LASER out abnormal cells. doesn't want anything hanging around there until body can fight it all off. SO, nutshell story to tell you this: Monday morning, 6am, i go into Centennial Hospital in Nashville, TN to get my insides lasered...well, the abnormal cells at least. In at 6 and out by 9:30am (and around 800-900 dollars...I think that calls for another AWESOME.)
Two things from that: the literal is to ask you for a prayer. I don't really get stoked about things like this. Also when a Doctor tells you that you could experience mild discomfort afterwards, that probably means, OUCH! [uhhh, Valium anyone?] it is that whole loss of control thing. What if, what if, what if...ugh. I'm over it.
The figurative is just this: sometimes things [duh, Jenna!] happen. sometimes crappy things happen that we don't expect, weren't ready for, weren't planning on, weren't wanting and then we feel like we are lost in the wilderness. You can do all the right things, right moves but things still happen...The trees seem to cover in all around you and you feel like you have lost your way, your comfort, your ease and your familiar.(Why do i hear the Cheers theme playing in my head right now? Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your naaame...) Roll with the punches my friend. Take a deep breath where you are. Close your eyes and count to 10...20 if you have to. Laser out the bad and keep going with the good. You will be better afterwards. GOD is NOT shaken or moved by ANYTHING that happens. It doesn't catch Him off guard, doesn't put Him in a funk, doesn't have him throw in the towel. In fact, even if you feel like you are in a wilderness you can rest there. There is everything that you need to survive and give you sustenance there in that wilderness. You may feel uncomfortable and vulnerable there, but that is exactly where you need to be. It is no surprise my friend where your are and where you are going.
How does this all tie together?
....I dunno.
I think i just need that encouragement to myself today.
Remember that God is not shaken or moved. What does that mean to you today?
I leave you with this: thanks for reading. :)

2 comments:

Anita J. said...

That God is not shaken makes me grateful. I need someone to be the rock. I need a high tower to run into. When I am tempted to worry myself sick over something I think, "Jesus can see the other side of this." He can see the outcome, and He will bring me through it. That is what it means to me.

It is beautiful that in your weakness, He is strong. In your trouble, you bring a testimony. I will be praying for you from now through Monday.

Holly said...

Love and prayers.