Hummus and Pita for me

I am a grazer...

I like chips and dip: salsa. guacamole. queso.

veggie trays. fruit plates. hummus and pita.

peanuts. crackers and spreads.

things on a toothpick.

I like anything bit size or that requires dipping.

I got to thinking about this and how i could fill myself up with this all day long, but that i am never fully satisfied. (you know where this is going don't you.)

With taking the risk of becoming predictable, why do we graze when there is so much more? Why am i just getting by but not digging in? Why don't i enjoy the fullness that is available?

I am slowly learning that there are many things in my life that i really need and want to work on, but when you do something for so long, it becomes a way of life, it becomes part of you, and you start to wonder and realize that you don't really know how to change them.

For me, it is two things that i am specifically talking about: it is a way of thinking. I am stuck right now with not taking a way that someone in my life speaks to me, too personally. I have to realize that they are talking to me the same way they are talking to another and another and it is born out of their insecurities. We are all bruised and battered, but there is no need to make someone lower to make yourself higher. I am trying to learn how not to respond defensively or feel like i have to say something to get my word in. This is really hard for me. The natural response when being attacked is to defend; to protect; and really to move on...or backwards.

Situation numero dos: Spiritually, right now i am just kind of getting by. I am in a slump. It is like i am stuck in a pit with no air and i am suffocating. I just have to crawl out. This is no one's fault but my own. I know what i need to do. I know where the fresh air is.

The truth is, the change has to come from within. To change thinking, YOU have to do it. To change actions, YOU have to do it. Does anyone know what i am talking about?

Envy- the Enemy within

I pulled this from a friends blog. (Thanks Blaire!) It rocked me, and i thought it might rock you too. She is reading this book that i am about to pick up and dive into. Check this excerpt out from the book "Envy: The Enemy Within" by Bob Sorge.
it's a buzz kill, for sure:
"We resist pinning the label "envy" on the struggles of our soul because of the implications that word carries with it. If we own up to envy, we are giving admittance to some powerfully indicating weaknesses. We are tacitly admitting the following attitudes:
- I am ungrateful for what God has given me. His gifts are not enough for me; I also want what He's given another.
- My heart is motivated at a fundamental level by an element of self-interest, self-preservation and self-promotion. I am not able to fully celebrate my brother's successes because of underlying feelings of competition and ambition in my soul.
- My carnality is impeding the unity of the body of Christ--the unity that is central to the bride's preparation. Hence, part of me is hindering, instead of hastening, Christ's return."

Stop it. Those thoughts go so deep inside of me as I realize that i relate and/or reveal that i have thought those at one time or another...
Or daily.
How do we get past that? How do we take our once envy and turn that into passionate prayers and yearning desire for God to do whatever, whenever and however He pleases? How do we stop being so selfish and self-centered and let God dream His dreams through us?

Crap...that makes me hurt...

my week in pictures

So we went camping for the 4th.








and this is what we woke up to on the 4th.













and here is my adorable hubby enjoying the morning view and weather

and here he is doing what he loves: hangglidding.









later my mother in law joined us









later we enjoyed a Fourth of July Parade

and here I am in Matt's glasses!













then we went to Arrington Vineyards for a picnic and live music.

My mom-in-law and I at Arrington Vineyards enjoying the music









then my sister in law and niece came in town and we hung out at Opryland.










Saturday we went to a friend's wedding in Memphis. It was so sweet! I got to see some of my favorite people in the world!









he is cute huh?









and here are my favorite people. I miss you guys!

It was a busy week.

legend of the sinking chair

As I type, I am sitting at my desk "working" (don't judge me for a messy desk. it is busy season!) and I am sinking. I know what you might be thinking: "I am sinking because I have so much work to do. My life is so busy that I cannot keep up." No, No. This is the literal sense of the word.
Every day it is the same thing: I come in and sit down with my knees to my chest, and the first thing I do is raise my chair to the normal sitting position. As the day goes on, I slowly sink lower and lower to where all of a sudden, my knees are at my chest again.

The process of raising and sinking continues.

"How did I get here?" I ask both to myself and my office-mate, Debby. Although I have accused Debby time and time again of coming to my desk to lower it when I leave, I have first hand evidence that proves otherwise. I sink. Daily. Minute-ly.
So what is it? What is the symbolism you might ask with my chair sinking? Could it be that my chair is sinking and that relates to the fact that in life at times we are sinking second to second and sometimes we don't notice? OR could it be that a chair is like the little things in our life? While some things are lowered at times and aren't as important, other things are raised?

Nope.
It is what it is.
A sinking chair.
And for now, on this Monday morning as I finish this posting from Friday I will resort to doing my work, hurrying to finish things for what is quickly becoming a fast paced week and I am sure I will continue to sink. Slowly and without notice until it is too late.

Gitomer's steps to having your best year ever

OK, so after working at my new job for almost 3 months (i have survived! barely...), I just noticed this thing of "encouragement" that is taped to my desk. Here are my thoughts on this new found piece of support:

1. Define yourself.
consider it done. I know who I am and Whose I am. I am completely comfortable in my own skin and what I have to bring to the table.

2. Develop a sales mission statement.
YOU develop a sales mission statement...your head has a think candy shell on it...

3. Have a deep belief in the three critical areas of selling.
if i knew what those were, then i would pray about it...

4. Develop greater pride in accomplishment.
are you kidding? I love winning. I couldnt love to win any more. Who enjoys to lose? Plus i am too competitive for my own good. :)

5. Remember: You are what you eat.
Good come back!

6. Get rid of one time-waster.
Facebook???? yea right. Sometimes i do lunges past Debby's desk and I am not getting rid of that either.

7. Read a book every two months.
Does People magazine count? ha kidding. (some of you just said "wow" right there. i know you!)

8. Get your sales pipeline full.
trust me, i am on brain overload right now. there is no room for anything else unless i physically take something out.

9. Meet your monthly sales quota by the second week of the month.
HAHAHA not in this line of work buddy. I am in Non-Profit fundraising. See?

Jenna Cox
Campaign Manager

United Way of Williamson County
209 Gothic Court, Suite 107
Franklin, TN 37067
tel: 615-771-2312
fax: 615-771-6878
www.uwwc.org

GIVE. ADVOCATE. VOLUNTEER. LIVE UNITED™
that is my email signature. We don't meet quotas that quick.

10. Start branding yourself.
that would hurt. that is why i never got a tatoo.

11. Get up earlier.
No.

12. Begin capturing your thoughts and ideas in writing.
I do! All the time. And then i doodle around them to make them pretty.

13. Give one speech.
a day? ok. I have to give speeches every single day in my job. I should become a great speaker. At least I hope so.

14. Write one article your customers will read.
DONE! Here in lies my blog.

15. Make sales at breakfast.
to who? I don't talk to people during breakfast. Would you like for me to sell something to myself? What am i buying? Have i mentioned that i am not a morning person? B/c that is going to make it REALLY hard to sell something to myself. And what time IS breakfast b/c that determines a lot. We need to talk more about this.

16. Keep your customers loyal to you and your company.
I promise i will try Mr Gitomer. I am only one person.

17. Double your testimonials.
Ok.

18. Double your referrals.
Um...ok...

19. Record sales presentations.
with my thumb? No? Then can you buy me a recorder? (This reminds me of a Friend's line where Phoebe says "If you want to get email updates from me...then buy me a computer!")

20. Start every morning with attitude.
...TRUST ME....

20.5. Remember: You're not alone.

Thank you. I needed to remember that.

a few randoms

1) I am addicted to post-it notes. I use them for everything: reminders, doodling, decoration, encouragement, phone numbers, messages, adding, and gum-ridding... (I especially like the ones that come out of the dispenser. NIIIICE touch...

2) I have become REALLY forgetful. My brain is full i think.

3) I love taking pictures. I wish i could do it as a career.

4) I really would pack up my bags and move to Italy with my husband tomorrow if he said it was ok.

5) Ice Cream is my downfall.

6) i get many headaches. HATE hate it

7) I've always wanted to be more athletic and win at everything. not possible?

8) I love fixing things...taking things apart and putting them back together....and BUILDING things. I need a workshop

9) i always wonder if i missed my calling as a teacher. They have the best holidays. And although i dont really WANT to be a teacher, it could be awesome. But i love my job.

10) I change everyday on whether or not i am ready to have a kid. today i dont think i am ready, but yesterday I was ready. HA!

...and a big tub of ice cream it will be.

do you remember that episode of FRIENDS where Monica and Rachel are talking to Chandler about Janice and their break up? Here is a taste:

Rachel: Okay, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?
Chandler: She said she'd call me.
Rachel and Monica: Oh.
Chandler: Oh God.
Monica: Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
Chandler: This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.
Rachel: Yeah, well that's that low-cal, non-dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of... we save the real stuff for the truly terminal cases.
Monica: You know, when you start getting screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.

well i am bummed. MAJORLY bummed. In fact, it feels like a break-up. So much so, that i think i need some ice cream (non-fat of course. TCBY anyone?)

We had our sweet little hearts set on purchasing our first home, we found one we liked with tons of potential and in the perfect area, our lease is ending in less than 30 days, and today we find out it won't happen, thru no matters of our own. There is a long list of whys that i wont bore you with, but all i will say is that I'm at the end-of-the-cone of disappointment. I am suffering a brain freeze from what i expected to happen.

It makes me think, do our expectations have anything to do with our outcomes? Did i "eat my least favorite flavor on purpose" with what i THOUGHT would happen, and write it off as "this is what always happens, so why wouldn't it this time?" Why am I not more of an optimist? Why would i EXPECT this to happen?

A song on the radio has me thinking today: "There is hope when our faith runs out. I'm in better hands now." Why don't we live like this more? Why do i take this as a personal hit and not just it is what it is and it just isn't the right time?

"I'm in better Hands now." Recite that to yourself when you feel you are loosing your nerve (and i am!). "I'm in better Hands now" means that i had to realize I shouldn't have been in control in the first place. "I'm in better Hands now" means protection and provision. "I'm in better Hands now" means that i AM in better hands...now.