Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

An email conversation between one of my closest friends and I about the struggle with love, life and the constant letting go:

Me: Are you planning on going to Angela’s wedding? I think your answer to that is yes. I am not sure we are going to be able to...bummer...

Secondly, how are you? I heard…

Sarah: Yeah I'm definitely going. Of course. Like id miss this celebrity wedding.

As for how I'm doing:

Sh**ty.

Me: I’m sorry. I know it is hard. Can I do anything? Need anything? I’ve been praying for ya. Crap like this is never easy.

Sarah: Yeah, definitely not easy.
Sucks even worse to have to be at work letting my mind go a million miles a minute.
I have to choose to focus on the Lord all day or Ill wanna have a breakdown every 15 minutes.

Don’t get me wrong. The Lord has us right where he wants us. There’s SO much he’s doing on the inside of both of us.
There was so much pride in our lives and it ultimately made our lives together very miserable.
It sucks, because now that I see there was so much I did on my end that provoked him and there’s so much I could have prevented.

I know I can’t let my mind go there, but the Lord really is allowing me to look back and he’s highlighting all the rookie mistakes I made and its just disgusting honestly.

So it’s a good place to be. I’m just trying to lay it down everyday and doing my best to trust the Lord.
Its really hard though.

Me: Totally understand and I hate that you have to go thru it, but at the same time, it is part of that refining process He has us go thru. Daily I am reminded of More of Him and LESS, so much less, of me. When the bible talks about set your mind on things above, it is because our mind DOES NOT automatically go there, EVER. We have to CHOOSE where our mind goes, and it does take a conscience effort to put it on Him and not our circumstance. That is where abiding comes in. All day long, think of Him, think of where He is taking us, what He is doing, how He is in control, how there are mysteries hidden in Him that we have to seek HIM out to find…because when we seek, we find...even if we don’t find what we thought we would find, or end up where we thought we would end up. He doesn’t work like we think He does.

Let HIM rock your life right now. It will be worth it.

He is good Sarah, and though we go thru times like these and we wonder "why" in the midst and what is next, He IS in control and loves you unconditionally, despite your pride, your junk, your mess…and if you think about it, He loves you INspite of it.

I feel like it should be one of those "enough said" moments. I am convicted by my own words. So it will be enough said. Leave your comments. Let's converse.