BACK OFF: This is my challenge

How do you encourage someone to rise to the challenge? How do you say to someone "You are a snob and need to let people in but instead of doing that you are pushing everyone away, judging others, and no one will WANT to stick around if you keep doing that? And all you are doing now is pushing me away!"

Not OK?

Yea, I figured.

I am really perplexed today. I had a difficult conversation with a friend of mine this past week that I have not been able to shake. Did I say what I wanted to say? Did it come across correctly? Has this forever shaken our relationship?

No one really wants to hear the hard things.

But here is where I am really torn:
More than myself or what I said or how I came across, I am hurting for this person because of their cowering from the challenge. From one simple conversation about "stepping out of their comfort zone" they have chosen to stop and quit.

Done. Finito. STOP. NO mas.

The towel has been thrown in.

Making yourself available and KNOWN is always a risk that you have to take. "What if they reject me?" "What if I lose my trust in them?" What if they lose their trust in me?" "What if they don't like what I have to give?" There is always a fear in trust. Accountability is fearing. It is scary. "This person will know it all."

What if we cowered down from all the things that God has called us to? And do we realize the ripple effects of what each decision another person makes has on the next person? What in my life is comparable to this situation where all I do when presented with a challenge...is quit... Where would I be? What would I be doing? Where would i be going? or not going?
What have I missed...

Lord, help me listen to your Voice so that I can hold fast to you. I don't want to miss it.
I don't want to miss you.

Sometimes I forget to update:

If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don’t worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - - truth is always subversive.

Anne Lamott in Bird By Bird