This might be the coolest thing I have seen.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

are you following me? (a tribute to my best friend)

This morning I was thinking back on one of my favorite memories post college. After I was done with Baylor, I decided that a move to Dallas was for me. I moved to a low profile area of Dallas (Go big DUNCANVILLE! ha) b/c that was what I could afford, but just a few short minutes from my very best friend in the world. I moved into my first place by myself, and within a few months I landed a job as a Personal Assistant and Nanny for a Highland Park family.

Believe it or not, I was working a HIGH stress job. As much as I enjoyed the freedom of my job and the money I was making, I ALWAYS had stories, always had a complaint, always had a vent, always had a laugh with my friends Then we started something to this day, was one of my favorite things. My best friend said "I've got the best show in the world. Just watch one episode and you will be hooked." A group of almost 10 of us on any given occasion would get together and watch 'Alias', starting with season 1. We would watch up to 5 episodes a night. This show was so addictive to us and not to mention, we would work our whole night around this. We would make our plans starting in the morning about what we wanted to eat for dinner, where we were going to watch it and how many we were going to try to "get in." I didn't end up caring that I would get home past midnight and that I had to work early the next morning. We just HAD to finish all seasons before the next season started in the fall.

So we watched all night long and then i would drive home. I remember this feeling like it was yesterday. I would walk quickly to my car, get in and lock my doors. I would scurry out of the driveway and drive like mad the 5 minutes it took to get home. The entire ride home, every car that i saw, was following me. Someone was watching me. I could just feel it. SOMEONE was out to get me. I was sure there was some secret mission I would get pulled into. I prayed at the 3 stop lights that no one would get me and that i didn't have to use my awesome ninja skills that i only THOUGHT i had. Hey, if Sydney Bristow can kick but, so can I. And she never had a scar or scratch on her!

Then I would pull into my apartment complex, drive to the very back where I lived, run out of my car barely taking everything in that i needed, opening the door and slamming it behind me, the whole time watching my back at every move. Click. Click. Door locked. Shew! Another night of safety so I didn't have to kick the spy's sneaky butts.

As I think back on something so quirky, it makes me miss Brittany so much. She's dealt with my craziness, quirkiness, flightiness, stupid jokes, creativity, ideas, travels, moves, changes, etc. Although we don't get to see each other that often these days, me living in Nashville and her in Conway, she means the world to me.

Britt, thanks for making me feel like people are always following me.

It means the world..... (haha!) Love ya.

House Hunting

So, we are house hunting right now. We found one that we really like that is in a great area here in Franklin, we are just trying to figure our financial junk out. Here is my realization:

I know very little about all of this. Check out this email from a friend of ours that is helping us with CLUES on what to do (maybe it will help you!):

You want her to know there are no contingenies on your end BUT normal financing contingencies you must go through when borrowing for a house loan. Another contingency you MUST have is an Appraisal contingency! Your lender will order an appraisal for the house and it must appraisal for the contract price or higher NOT lower! If its comes in lower then it back to the negotiating table or you have the right as buyers to withdraw your offer and ALL earnest monies are returned to you!!! Then you have an Inspection Contingency! You have the right as a buyer to have a licensed inspector, ( I have a great Christian and knowledgable man I use). Title Deed to be in your legal married names.Buyers pay for their closings costs and sellers pay for their closing costs. All taxes and home owners associat on dues if applicable are to be pre rated and paid by the seller! Seller to pay and pay for a "clear" termite letter" for the closing as well! If seller has any termite infestation then seller to pay costs for termite treatment and able a clear termite letter after the treatment. I know there are more things to a contract. You will have to let me think and maybe go over more with you once you make the Offer in writing to Purchase! Remember just because you are writing up an Offer to Purchase does NOT mean you have to BUY or close as ong as you have several contingenies to PROTECT yourselves thru the process. Its takes about 30 days to close a loan so dont put anything sooner than 30-40 days to close, ok honey! If everything gets done on your loan, appraisals and inspections sooner then you move the date up if you all are in agreement on that? Buyers normally have 7-10 working days to get this done at your cost! Anywhere from $250-$360 for a good home inspection, fyi. You/buyers ask for the seller to pay for like $500- $1000 in repairs after you receive the inspection report back. You type up a list of repairs you want to seller to pay to have done and you want it done by a licensed "what ever" eletrician, contractor, plumber, etc? Whatever the repairs calls for! NOTHING cosmetic applies, fyi. Like stains on carpets, etc?

I need to take a nap. Reading that made me tired and not want to do anything. Is it 4:30 yet? I had NO idea so much went into this. But we are praying and hoping that it all works out. We are nearing the end of our lease at the end of July and getting SUPER nervous! Could you say a prayer for us? :) (then we will need a prayer for us doing renovations!) thanks!

WOW...ok i am back

Ok, so my bad for not updating. But I will be better, starting now... :)

Ok quick recap since March:

i got: a new job!!! I am Campaign Manager at The United Way of Williamson County.
i ran: my 1/2 marathon, and I am hooked!!!
i am: super stoked that it is SUMMER. and I am hungry...
i think: about my future children and what they will be like. What traits of Matt will they have?
What of me?
i forget: to update this blog...oops.
i know: how much i like to shop with Emily and end with coffee and magazines. She's the best!
i want: a puppy! Golden Retreiver please!
i have: the best husband a girl could ever ask for.
i wish: that I could be in Italy right now...
i hate: that i dont paint and write more when it makes me super happy.
i miss: my best friends in the whole world. (You know who you are!)
i fear: hurting the people I love most in this world.
i feel: hurt by people...
i hear: my co-worker pecking at her computer. Atta girl Debbi!
i smell: my lunch coming in the door.
i crave: ice cream. Any kind, any day, any hour, any time of year.
i search: for God's direction for my life.
i wonder: when we will have the freedom to pick up and travel to our heart's content.
i regret: being a punk to my mom when i was a teenager.
i love: Matthew Ryan Cox
i ache: in my back. I need a better mattress! (Sarah, remember, i slept so good that it hurts?
Ahh the good ole days!)
i care: waaay to much. I want to give it all away for people who need it. Extreme Home
Makeover? Makes me cry everytime!
i always: say I love you when i walk out the front door.
i am not: the best cook. But i try!
i believe: that God is Love.
i dance: way to much and am awesome...HA!
i sing: all the time to Jesus.
i don’t always: stay awake for the end of movies.
i fight: when I feel insecure.
i write: too little.
i win: everyday...
i lose: everyday...
i never: remember everything.
i turned: 25 in February! SCARY!!!!
i confuse: spelling. Is it receive or recieve? :)
i listen: to music...all day
i can usually be found: if you call me.
i am scared: of spiders...wolf spiders that i find in my apartment to be exact. EEK!!!!
i need: Jesus.
i am happy about: going to VEGAS in August!!!!

BACK OFF: This is my challenge

How do you encourage someone to rise to the challenge? How do you say to someone "You are a snob and need to let people in but instead of doing that you are pushing everyone away, judging others, and no one will WANT to stick around if you keep doing that? And all you are doing now is pushing me away!"

Not OK?

Yea, I figured.

I am really perplexed today. I had a difficult conversation with a friend of mine this past week that I have not been able to shake. Did I say what I wanted to say? Did it come across correctly? Has this forever shaken our relationship?

No one really wants to hear the hard things.

But here is where I am really torn:
More than myself or what I said or how I came across, I am hurting for this person because of their cowering from the challenge. From one simple conversation about "stepping out of their comfort zone" they have chosen to stop and quit.

Done. Finito. STOP. NO mas.

The towel has been thrown in.

Making yourself available and KNOWN is always a risk that you have to take. "What if they reject me?" "What if I lose my trust in them?" What if they lose their trust in me?" "What if they don't like what I have to give?" There is always a fear in trust. Accountability is fearing. It is scary. "This person will know it all."

What if we cowered down from all the things that God has called us to? And do we realize the ripple effects of what each decision another person makes has on the next person? What in my life is comparable to this situation where all I do when presented with a challenge...is quit... Where would I be? What would I be doing? Where would i be going? or not going?
What have I missed...

Lord, help me listen to your Voice so that I can hold fast to you. I don't want to miss it.
I don't want to miss you.

Sometimes I forget to update:

If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don’t worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - - truth is always subversive.

Anne Lamott in Bird By Bird

So, I am famous...as if you didnt know.

Go check out my friend Hannah's photography page and look at how famous my hubby and I are:


and while you are at it, go look at how amazing my wedding photographer is and see how cool my beach wedding was:
http://www.truerichesphotography.com
or
http://www.photostockplus.com/home.php?tmpl=42&user_id=25181&event=102236

Peace.

apartment rug

Have I lost my mind?

Why, hello there. I am running a half marathon. Have i lost it? Hmmm, not sure yet. I will keep you updated.



Oh, and HAVE I LOST IT?!

One Day...

I had a conversation with a friend today about doing things we would love to do. It went something like this:

sunshinesteph25 (11:35:51 AM): when i get married, i would love to be able to just work part time & focus on those thing [that i really want to do].

ME (AOL) (11:36:00 AM): for sure

sunshinesteph25 (11:36:23 AM): again...one day...it will happen!

ME (AOL) (11:39:59 AM): i wish life wasn't about waiting to do the things you really wanted to do

ME (AOL) (11:40:25 AM): if every person really WENT after their dreams, what do you think this world would be like?

It makes me wonder, why do we settle? Why do we just take what we can get when there is more to life? Why do we settle for good, when there is BEST?

It is now 2008 and I am determined this year more than ever to really go for the things I want to do. God has placed in me a passion to move. to go. to see. to do. to love more. love what I DO more. to push myself to the limits. stopping is scary. waiting is...well.. it is waiting...know what i mean? Does that scare you like it does me?

"one day." one day she says.
What if we allow ourselves to never let "one day" happen because it is always in the too distant future? we are waiting for more money. waiting for mr. (or mrs.) right. waiting to be accepted. waiting to be in better shape. waiting to get our life in order. waiting to get that interview for a job we don't really want. waiting waiting waiting...

thing I want to do THIS YEAR:
1. go on a Cruise
2. run a half marathon (I AM IN APRIL!)
3. sell some paintings
4. take some photography and painting classes
5. host a dinner party
6. start a business
7. make new friends
8. finish some of the many books I have started.
9. ride in a hot air balloon.
10. buy land to begin my dream

the list continues. (i will keep updating this list.)
In closing, i want you to read something found from another blog. May it inspire you as it does me. May it CONFIRM in you what it confirmed in me:

Few Do

Stop doing what everybody else is doing.
Stop doing what you’ve always done.

Most human beings deeply desire to be used by God in unique and extraordinary ways.
Most human beings talk about these desires.
And most make resolutions about how they’ll change their lives in order to see these desires fulfilled.
But few do.

Trust God with a unique and extraordinary faith this year.
Do the things that few do.
12 spies took inventory of the Promised Land.
All of them desired to go in.
Only 2 were willing to fight for it.
Only 2.
See what I’m saying?

Many desire…
Few do.

i am beginning to see things a little more clearly for 2008. more to come...